Punchkins ~ Funny Sayings Plushies

This bear just dropped a stinky load and doesn’t give a sh*t who knows it. He’s the type of guy who spends 30 minutes on the toilet and doesn’t even feel crappy about making you late for dinner with your friends. He’s the ideal...

Have you herd? This little plushie is lactose intolerant! That’s right, cow’s milk gets his bowels mooving right along, straight through to his dairy-air. It’s udderly ridiculous the havoc dairy can cause on the body, and he gets that! His distraught expression,dangly legs, and...

We’re not talking about temperature here! The perfect plushie for your dad or dad friend– beer, khakis, and socks with sandals not included.

Why choose squats over spuds? This french fry plushie knows there’s no comparison! This plushie is perfect for any carb lover! 

Imposter syndrome doesn’t stand a chance against this purse plushie’s positive attitude. It's soft fabric, weighted base, and dangling legs make it the perfect desktop cheerleader to get you through those long video meetings

This gal knows guys come and go, but carbs are forever! Display this little dose of girl power at work, home, or give it to your friend going through a messy breakup (we know he didn’t deserve her).

This Punchkin’s got 99 problems and anxie-tea is literally all of them. Is she too hot? Is she too cold? Did she brew long enough? What if nobody likes her or drinks her? Or worse, reheats her ten times, still doesn’t drink her, and...

Happy wife, happy life! Right, fellas? This plushie knows that the (not so) secret to a long and happy marriage is keeping your wife happy! NOT! She knows it takes more than that. She knows your lady needs a helpful, funny, and fully-committed partner—and...

  OMG Becky, look at those buns. They’re so soft. This tasty-looking plushie is the perfect mix of yummy and punny, making it perfect for any burger fan.

This Punchkin loves historical romance novels. I mean, have you read the Bridgerton series? (Have you seen the TV series? *fans self*) Her loins burn for that kind of passion. She dreams of falling in love with a man who will tell her, “You’re...

This Punchkin is OBSESSED with true crime. But he doesn’t like cold cases; he wants them solved! He’s seen, read, and listened to so much true crime content that he’s practically a detective now. Like any true crime junkie, he knows three important facts:...

This plushie will grab your heart write from the start. She’s looking for her person, and you’re just her type. She’ll love you forever if you letter. She’s the perfect gift for the one who holds the key to your heart. Product dimensions: 6in X 6in X 4in

Let’s taco ‘bout how cute this plushie is! With its weighted base and dangling legs, this is the taco that will finally stay upright.

This teddy bear thinks humanity is unBEARable, so he prefers to keep to himself. He doesn’t go big, he goes home (and stays there as long as he possibly can). He’s the perfect gift for any homebody who just wants to be left alone....

This teddy bear is…wait…hold on. He’s an…umm… He… Ya know what? Give us a few days to think about it… We do know that he rehearses conversations in his head and spends hours thinking about the little things. He doesn’t Netflix and chill; he...

  This avocado plushie knows what the best part of brunch is (and it’s not the toast). The perfect birthday or holiday gift for your friend that spends every Sunday at the latest bottomless brunch spot downtown.

Keep your sweet mindset front and center with this cupcake plushie! Afterall, why be plain when you could be decorated instead (looking at you muffins).

In a recent never published undocumented clinical study, eating brownies has shown to increase dopamine levels in the human body causing feelings of euphoria. This brownie is perfect for that person in your life that could use some cheering up. Best of all, this...

Sounds like a great Saturday night, amirite?

This Punchkin is so not in the mooood for your shenanigans. Your ability to milk any situation makes his stomach curdle. It’s no cow-in-cidence that’s caused him a lot of pint-up anger. Yet his unhappy expression, dangly legs, and 3D straw make him udderly...